You don’t know how good it is until you lose it, knowing you can never have it back. once your present becomes your past, you look back and realize that you have lost something forever.
All your life, you have looked for it, something that makes you happy. You never realized that it was right there, so close to you that you could grab it if you wanted to. But you did not, and once it’s gone, it’s gone forever. So now you’re not looking for it, you’re trying to win it back.
I am looking at that thing right now, right in front of me: the guy who once said he was in love with me. I laughed at him. I was so sure that it was the right thing to do in front of my friends. He was a nerd. Nobody even bothered to talk to him in class. I did talk to him once or twice the whole three years we were together. Maybe that was why he chose to fall in love with me, of all people. I thought love was such a silly feeling and I drove him away.
You may wonder why I suddenly want him now. Me too. I never could have guessed that I would meet him again, after all these years. But today is our reunion day. We all go back to our high school for a little party. But what I don’t understand is he. Why does he have to turn out to be such a hot guy? He takes off his glasses. He wears nice clothes from famous brands. And here I am, standing in front of him, haven’t changed a bit. My hair is tidy up in a bun. I have a cheap flowery dress on (which I got from my aunt). I look at him and wonder if he even remembers me.
He looks down right at me, smiling. Ah…how cute! Wish I were able to see how good looking he was before and accepted his love. What a wish!
“Hey, long time no see,” says he, putting his hand on my shoulder.
Time stops. My whole body trembles. I’m so pathetic. I am so falling for this stranger who used to be my loser classmate. I don’t know what to do with myself. Should I smile back at him? Should I answer? No… I’m too nervous to say anything now.
“Hey, there's a bug crawling on your shoulder,” his voice suddenly cut through my imagination. He is holding a nasty disgustingly ugly bug in front of my face. So he is trying to get it off me. It isn't a romantic act of any kind to put his hand on my shoulder.
“Ahhhh…hh…hhh…” I yell out loud in horror, “Put that thing away!!!”
He laughs out loud, looks at me amazingly. I felt right into his eyes and force myself to smile.
We decide to join other friends at the table. Everyone is amazed by how much he changed. How can they not be? He has taken his nerdy look from high school and turned himself into such a hottie. How did he do that? I guess I should make my move right now before some other girl would do it. I hope he still has the heat for me. Since I haven’t changed much and he did love me back then, he should love me now.
“So, do you have a girl friend now since you change so much?” I begin my please-be-my-boyfriend plan
“Yes,” says he, and crushes my dream into pieces.
“Oh, where is she now?” Couldn’t believe in his answer, I ask again, hoping that he was just playing around.
“She’s working part-time right now, but she should be here soon” he’s smiling, again, that cute smile and dreamy eyes, talking about another girl in front of me.
Just as he answers me, a beautiful girl enters the restaurant and walks toward us. She gives us that radiant smile and puts her hand on my guy’s shoulder. He looks up at her and smiles. They are in that lovey dovey world where nothing matters but the two of them. Why does this have to happen in front of me? So he has turned into a handsome guy, got himself a pretty chick and does not love me anymore.
I stand up and excuse myself to the bathroom. My best girlfriend follows me. once we are in the bathroom, I begins my questioning, “Why did he do that? Didn’t he say he loved me? How could he change his feeling just because I refused him? I guess he does change his look, but he is still a loser inside,” I yell out breathlessly with all my disgust.
“Hey, look… you’re the one who laughed at him when he was in love with you. Of course he has to find someone else. And it has been years, people change, you know? I’m sorry but you’re just mad because he looks better and more popular than you are now. It’s the present, dear. You don’t live in the past anymore just because it’s a reunion and we talk about the past.”
“I know,” I start crying, “But it was so good, and it suddenly turned into the past, you know…my present suddenly becomes my past” I wipe my tears helplessly. “I guess I’m still living in the past. For the present, I’m lost.”
“Yeah, sometime, you don’t know how good something is until you lose it. So hold on to everything you have now, protect what you love and never let it go. once the present becomes the past, you will have something to hold on to.”
So I guess it isn’t really about the present or the past. It is about me and how I choose to live my life. When you don’t have what you love, you should love what you have, I guess the saying is true.
Written by Trần Phương My A 03-06
Edited by Nguyễn Diệu Hương A1 01-04
Submitted by Le Huy Hoang L2 00-03