Last summer, after my high school graduation, I sat down to arrange my works of art into different categories. I am an obsessive-compulsive with a passion for classifying things. Suddenly, I realized that I had written a lot of stories and scripts about the "freak" type – those anti-social people who always seem to isolate themselves and live in a world of their own. And my stories were not just about the school freaks. There was o­ne about a werewolf who acted like a pet dog, and another about a vampire who acted like a superhero – my writings focused o­n those who did not belong. Now that I came to think about, perhaps I was so interested in that matter because I always thought of myself as a freak. I have never really belonged to anywhere, except for my home.

I grew up at the suburb of our nation's capital, far away from the city center and all the hubbubs going o­n there. My friends used to say their parents would love to have a kid like me, because I hardly ever went out. I have never been away from my house for more than two weeks. o­ne reason for this was that I was plain lazy. But the more important reason was that I could o­nly feel at ease in my house. It was a wonder to everyone why I ever wanted to become a movie director – a job which required me to be away from home quite frequently. Actually I had never given any thought to that negative aspect of the career I chose... not until I received a phone call informing that I had won a government scholarship for studying abroad. The first thought that popped up in my mind when I heard the news was, "Oh. My. God. I'm going away!" I should have been thrilled and proud, but I could o­nly think about leaving my home sweet home to live among strangers in a strange place. It was too much for me to take.

But I was sensible enough to know that chances like this did not come twice. I couldn't let it slip just because I was afraid of being away from home. So this was what I told myself. After all, what is so bad about being away from your home if you're away to do what you love to do? More importantly, when you go out, you can experience a lot of new interesting things – you can learn about things at home from books, TV and the internet, but you can't really experience them. Actual experiences are important, and to a movie maker they're essential. I have written a lot of stories and scripts, but I have rarely experienced any of the things I described in my stories (except for being a freak). Imagination is good, but you can't totally rely o­n it.

For the past 18 years of my life, home has been my favorite refugee. Now I have to force myself to go out there, be social and get some to know about the world... in other words, to find somewhere else I belong.

Written by Le Minh Đuc A3 01-04
Edited by Chu Van Huong A1 98-01